GLASSES PART OF YOUR I.D.?

I was looking in the mirror the other day and came to the stark realization that at my maturity eyeglasses are now an integral part of my persona. OK, I really can’t see well without them especially after I have been on the computer a while. This epiphany kind of melded with the realization that my hair continues to thin and I’m not in the greatest shape. I just renewed my Texas Driver’s License on-line (took over two months – another story) and decided to stick with the existing photo though convenience more than vanity had more to do with that decision. The photo is glassless and my hair is mostly brown… For the Texas DPS folks out there, you can still tell it’s me…

My most recent eye exam (thanks Dr. Pham) revealed that I have the very early start of the insidious and persistent cataracts that plagued my Mother and Grandmother. Doc Pham stated that there is no cure but that they may not manifest themselves for ten or fifteen years or more. So, should I worry about this diagnosis? Probably not, but it scared the heck out of me and I surely can’t “see” living without functional sight…

I fleetingly thought about getting implants to eliminate that potential and the necessity of glasses and to immediately improve my vision but the thought of someone operating on my eyes scares the Hell out of me (there it is again). I’ve been told by Friends, “It’s easy. They give you a happy shot that steers you to lala land and you really don’t know what’s going on nor do you really remember.” I wasn’t impressed with that answer so surgery is apparently not an option. That leaves me with my glasses and the reminder of a “maybe some day” visual complication.

If I am going to live with glasses in that interim then I need to come to grips with that reality and my recent characterization as, “the old guy in Recruiting.” The glasses probably contribute to that personification as they are generally the first thing that people see. I suspect that deep down inside maybe I want to choose a pair of eyeglasses that will stop the aging process and identify me with the “modern” young crowd, maybe even keep me from aging – an optical Dorian Gray paradigm, if you will. I always hear that, “everybody wants to be young and modern.” Well, I've come to the conclusion that I can never look young again nor do I care to do so. Maybe my glasses are part of my geriatric badge of courage and reward for a life well lived or maybe just lived.

All that said, I do wear conventional steel rimmed glasses noting that over the years fashions come and go and tend to repeat themselves in predictable cycles. I’ve always liked the John Lennon look that was more akin to the 18th century and that style seems to be returning along with the spectacle and what we used to call library or reading specs.

I noticed that there are many personalities out there (some that I even admire) who wear/have worn eyeglasses. They include Stephen Spielberg, Harry Potter, Randy Jackson, Sir Elton John, Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, Sharon Stone, Sir Michael Caine, Catherine Zeta Jones, Queen Elizabeth, Gandhi, John Denver, Buddy Holly and the best damn president of the United States, Teddy Roosevelt, among others [no, not Michael Jackson (RIP)].

A major eyeglass manufacturer recently asked ordinary folks in a survey whether or not glasses affect attractiveness? Seventy-three percent of respondents indicated that it had no impact and almost seventy percent of men and women stated that glasses didn’t get in the way of a romantic moment (or more?). Nothing worse than an eyeglass lock during an intimate moment…

Paul Baird of the University of Melbourne's Centre for Eye Research in Australia assured us in a recent study that people who wear glasses are not geeky and introverted, rather are more likely to be agreeable and open. OK…

With those assurances maybe I should get into the mild mannered Clark Kent or Kal-el look with thick plastic black rimmed glasses though I would be scared that nobody would recognize me or that I would have to eventually show off my fanciful powers and abilities. I saw a thread the other day where a young lady was proclaiming her love and appreciation for this guy’s glasses. It went something like this.

Whew, I really like your eyeglasses. You look like a superhero… so really, really hot. Glad that you can see clearly now and, hey, wearing glasses really aren’t nerdy…

Think I’ll get the operation unless I can find the reincarnation of Basil Hallward…

Aye,

Ned Buxton